Many couples experience family patterns during the holidays and get caught up in their traditions and maybe even those of their in-laws. The holiday season is a time of happiness, but often brings challenges if it is about maintaining relationships with your in-laws. The key to creating harmony during these times lies in effective communication, understanding, and maybe even a little compromise in certain situations.
Set Realistic Expectations
The first step to managing holidays with your in-laws is to set logical expectations. You should always know that no family is perfect, and conflicts or disagreements are common. As soon as you acknowledge this, you and your spouse can avoid unnecessary stress and disappointment.
Always set clear boundaries and communicate what you are comfortable with. Always remember that compromise is often necessary to make the holidays enjoyable for everyone involved.
Pre-plan
Holiday stress can be considerably decreased by making advance plans. Have a conversation with your partner about your expectations and intentions for the holiday season before it starts. Decisions on where to spend the holidays—at home, on vacation, or dividing time between families—should be discussed. You can better handle the needs of both families by creating a strategy that gives you control over your schedule.
Communicate Openly and Respectfully
Managing relationships with in-laws requires effective communication. It’s critical to discuss any worries you may have amicably and transparently. Instead of allowing annoyances to fester, calmly discuss them with your partner and, if necessary, the family members. Communicate your emotions and worries, emphasizing how particular actions impact your well-being. Open communication also helps keep misunderstandings from getting worse.
Establish Traditions and Routines
Creating your own holiday traditions as a couple can help in balancing different family expectations. Establishing routines and rituals that are meaningful to both partners can provide a sense of stability and prevent feelings of being pulled in different directions. These traditions can be as simple as preparing a specific dish, watching a favorite movie, or taking a walk after a big meal. By setting your own traditions, couples can create a space where they feel more comfortable and in control of their holiday experiences.
Be Flexible and Gracious
Flexibility is key when dealing with in-laws. Things may not go as planned, and it’s important to remain adaptable. Be gracious in accepting the inevitable changes or adjustments that come up. It’s not always possible to make everyone happy, but showing kindness and understanding can go a long way. If a particular event or gathering feels overwhelming, consider setting limits on your time and energy. Let your family know you may need a break or quiet time to recharge.
Support Each Other
Throughout the holiday season, couples should support each other. This means being a team and having each other’s back when it comes to handling family dynamics. It’s important to reinforce your partnership, reminding each other that you’re on the same team. Offer a listening ear and be each other’s biggest cheerleader. When faced with challenges, having a supportive partner can make all the difference in how you handle difficult situations.
Find the Humor 
Sometimes, the best way to deal with the stress and tension of the holidays is to find humor in the situation. This doesn’t mean belittling or making fun of in-laws, but rather finding lighthearted moments that can ease the tension. Laughing together can alleviate stress and remind you that the holidays are about creating memories, even when things don’t go as planned.
By setting realistic expectations, planning ahead, communicating openly, and supporting each other, couples can better manage the complexities of the holiday season with their in-laws. The holidays are a time for connection and celebration, and by navigating these relationships with care and understanding, you can create a peaceful and enjoyable season for everyone involved.
