Communication is key! This phrase has always been a part of relationships and marriages. While verbal communication allows you to express your thoughts and feelings, learning how your partner shows and receives love helps you physically display how much you care. Yes, we’re talking about the love languages!
Understanding your partner’s love language is essential to building and sustaining a healthy marriage. By expressing love in a way that resonates with them, you can create a deeper connection and a stronger bond.
What Are Your Love Languages?
Love languages refer to how love is preferably expressed and received within relationships. Author and counselor Dr. Gary Chapman introduced the concept with his book, “The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts“. Chapman proposed that there are five different love languages:
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Words of Affirmation:
Expressing your love through spoken words, praise, or appreciation. For example, uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages throughout the day. Include simple acknowledgments of what they are doing well. Someone whose love language is “words of affirmation” needs verbal confirmation of their importance to you and your love for them.
Understanding Love Languages: Gift Giving
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Acts of Service:
Admirable acts that make your partner feel seen, heard, and appreciated. Paying attention to the small things is important. Someone who’s love language is “acts of service” may not always know how to come right and verbalize their needs. It helps to be attentive and take initiative in many situations.
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Gift Giving:
Showering your partner with gifts is a way of communicating love. You could make a sentimental trinket or purchase something they’ve always wanted. Big or small, these gifts or presents represent their importance in your life. Keep in mind that someone who prefers this love language is most likely just as heavy on giving as they are with receiving.
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Quality Time:
Providing undivided attention and making the time spent together truly count. This form of love is all about attentiveness. Quality time may look like an action-packed night out on the town or simply cuddling while watching Netflix at home. It touches their heart when your focus on them is intentional.
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Physical Touch:
Using your hands and body, not just through sexual contact, to express affection. Although sex is a big part of a marriage, there are more ways to show physical love. A simple hug or kiss, holding hands, or even a high five is just as meaningful.
Chapman points out that people typically use all five love at languages, but most people tend to rely heavily on one. That is considered the primary, or most influential, love language.
Applying “Love Languages” to Your Marriage
The way you desire to receive love might not look the same for your partner. Consider love languages the same way you would speak languages. You may speak English perfectly, but your partner only understands Japanese. No matter how hard you try, communication will not look or sound the same for either of you.
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The way a person interprets love is very similar to that concept. One partner can operate best in the marriage when receiving quality time, but words of affirmation are the language of the other. There is absolutely nothing wrong with this. It is normal to experience love differently than your partner.
Everyone has a unique way of giving and receiving love. Identifying which love language resonates most with your partner can change the trajectory of the marriage positively. It will help you better communicate your desires and build a deeper connection. Each spouse holds the key that can change the emotional climate of the marriage.
These conversations are essential when forming strong foundations in relationships, but not everyone knows how to communicate their needs. Many people are unfamiliar with “love languages” and how to identify with them. It is a process that takes time and patience, but also a concept that rewards relationships.
Begin Couples Counseling in Huntsville, Al
You may even consider reaching out to a licensed therapist. Having someone to help you navigate the different love languages encourages a better understanding of it’s praising effects. Aspire Counseling & Consulting Services provides a positive atmosphere for couples to learn, grow, and thrive.
Our team of therapists can help you and your partner create a stronger bond and would be happy to offer support from our Huntsville, AL-based practice. Start your therapy journey by following these simple steps:
- Contact Aspire Counseling
- Meet with a Marriage or Relationship Counselor.
- Start interventions that support the growth and intimacy of your relationship
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