How To Love Yourself More

Do You Love Yourself?

I have a quick question for you that I want to ask you. Do you love yourself? And I know you’re looking at me like, “Oh, of course, I love myself,” but do you really? Actually, there are a lot of people that really think that loving yourself just simply because there’s no command in the Bible that says, “Love thyself is a sin.” So, we don’t spend much time loving thyself. Actually, loving thy self is fundamental in order for us to love others. As a matter of fact, the second greatest commandment says that we should love others as we love ourselves.



How Do I Know If I Love Myself?

In other words, if you kind of look at that and flip it a little bit, we can’t necessarily love others except that we first learn how to love ourselves. And this is something that many of us really miss. A lot of people that I talk to really miss this point of loving themselves. So, how do we know if we are not loving ourselves? Well, one of the ways that we can understand that if we’re not patient with ourselves, if we’re not kind to ourselves, if we don’t spend time with ourselves. Are you taking out time to look after yourself or to do things that you like sometimes instead of just always pursuing, doing things for other people? Another thing, another way that we can find out if we love ourselves is by the way that we think, and we call these core beliefs.

Am I Good Enough?

So, if you have core beliefs that in your mind, many times you’re feeling that you are not worthy, many times that you’re feeling things like, “I don’t fit in,” you’re feeling like, “I must earn love in order to deserve it,” or you feel like, “I’m not lovable,” these kinds of thoughts and core beliefs about ourselves really impact the way that we choose relationship and marriage partners. Some of us think, “Man, I’m stupid,” some of us think, “I’m ugly.” These are signs and symptoms also that possibly, there may be some self-love issues that need to be corrected. If we think this way, then it then impacts the way that we will choose relationships, and often predicts if we avoid bad relationships.

If you’re starting out fundamentally feeling like that you are not worthy and therefore, as people come into the environment with you as you try to start relationship with them, you have to do things in order to be loved, then that can be a problem with the people who you choose.

Toxic Relationships Are Not Your Fault

Many times, you’ll choose people that will exploit your love and are just great with you doing everything without an expectation of them also doing something in return. I want you to just take attention and sit back for a minute and think about, “Why is it that I have these feelings inside me that make me doubt whether or not I’m worthy in relationships or marriage?” If you’re finding yourself to have doubt or some self-worth issues in your marriage or relationships, many times, it’s not your fault, it’s something that you have been conditioned to do.

Counseling & Therapy at Aspire Counseling in Alabama

At Aspire Counseling and Consulting Services, we dig into the pieces that put together the puzzle that explains to you the reason why you have been maybe lacking love in relationships. We help you to build them. We have a team of counselors on deck that are just awesome, an all-star team that is ready to help you with interventions that will build intimacy in relationships. If you’re finding that maybe some of the things that I stated resonate with you, give us a call when you get the opportunity. And I hope that this helps. You take care now.

About The Author


Image of Choya Wise who provides marriage counseling in huntsville. Choya Wise also provides couples counseling in huntsville, Alabama. He and his team also support men who struggle with porn addictionsChoya Wise is the owner of Aspire Counseling and Consulting Services a mental health clinic in the Huntsville, Al area. If you’re looking for a therapist in Alabama, we hope you will consider Aspire Counseling and Consulting Services.  We have team of counselors and therapists in the Huntsville area who work throughout Alabama.  We offer in-person and online therapy in Alabama.


As a licensed mental health professional Choya specializes in individual counselingcouples therapy, anxiety, and depression counseling.  He also offers Social Work Clinical Supervision in Alabama and Anger Management Classes.

Speak Your Mind


1955 Rideout Dr. Ste 400
Huntsville, AL 35806
(256) 212-0567

Got Questions?
Send a Message!

By submitting this form via this web portal, you acknowledge and accept the risks of communicating your health information via this unencrypted email and electronic messaging and wish to continue despite those risks. By clicking "Yes, I want to submit this form" you agree to hold Brighter Vision harmless for unauthorized use, disclosure, or access of your protected health information sent via this electronic means.