Do you feel like you and your partner are drifting apart or stuck in a cycle of conflict and resentment? Do you wish you could improve your communication, intimacy, and trust, but not sure how? If yes, then try couples counseling.
Couples counseling is a form of therapy that helps couples address and resolve their issues, resorting to happiness in their relationship. However, not everyone is eager to try couples counseling due to the stigma, especially in the black community.
In fact, according to a study by the American Association of Marriage and Family Therapy, only 37% of couples who are experiencing marital distress seek professional help. Fortunately, this brief post will provide practical tips on approaching this sensitive topic with your partner and convince them to attend couples counseling.
Steps To Beginning Couples Counseling
-
Be Honest About Your Struggles
Convincing your partner to go to couples counseling means that you have to be honest about the state of your relationship. It would be best to share your feelings and needs with your partner non-judgmentally and let them know how the relationship issues affect you.
However, being honest does not mean being harsh or blaming; avoid using “you” statements that can make your partner feel attacked or criticized. For example, instead of, “You never listen to me,” or “You are the reason we are unhappy,” you should say, “I feel unheard,” or “I am unhappy with our situation”.
However, honesty also means acknowledging your responsibility in the relationship issues because neither of you are perfect or flawless. Admit your mistakes, apologize for your actions, and be open to feedback and suggestions from your partner.
By being honest with yourself and your partner, you can show that you are not trying to change them but are willing to work on your relationship.
-
Eliminate Play the Blame Game
The blame game is when you try to shift the resp
onsibility for the relationship issues onto your partner, making them feel guilty or ashamed. This approach can damage their self-esteem, erode your trust, and escalate conflicts.
Ultimately, it would help to focus on the solutions rather than the problems, acknowledge your responsibility for the relationship issues, and avoid making accusations.
For example, instead of saying, “You never help me with the chores; you are so lazy and selfish,” you should say, “I feel overwhelmed by the work I have to do at home. Can we please share the tasks more evenly?”
This approach will most likely convince your partner to try couples therapy since you see the relationship as a team needing more effective training.
-
Let Them Know You Love Them
You must express your love and appreciation for your partner in words and actions and reassure them that you are not giving up on them or the relationship. Let them know that you want to go to couples counseling because you care about them and the future of your relationship.
Sometimes, your partner may feel insecure, unloved, or unwanted when you suggest couples counseling, thinking that you are unhappy or looking for a way out. They may also fear that the counselor will side with you or that you will expose their flaws or secrets.
To overcome these fears, you must show your partner that you love them unconditionally and that you are in this together. One method is to remind them why you fell in love with them and the positive aspects of your relationship.
It would be best to compliment, thank, hug, and kiss them. Also doing the things that make them feel appreciated
and cherished goes a long way. In other words, you need to say “I love you” and mean it.
-
Move Past the Stigma
Stigma is the negative attitude or belief that some people have towards mental health issues, and this stigma is mostly prevalent in the black community. It can make your partner feel ashamed, embarrassed, or think others will judge them.
To move past the stigma, you need to address any misconceptions or fears that your partner may have about couples counseling. This involves educating them about what couples counseling is and what it is not.
Encourage them by explaining that Couples counseling is not a sign of weakness or failure but of strength and courage. It is not where we will be judged or blamed but where we find support and guidance.
You can say, “Did you know that only 37% of couples who are experiencing marital distress seek professional help? That means many couples miss the opportunity to improve their relationship happiness.
-
You Cannot Fight Fire With Fire
It is important to understand that your partner may feel threatened or upset by the idea of couples counseling and that their reactions are not intentional. Instead of taking their response with equal hostility, opt for calm and empathy and try to understand their perspective.
Acknowledge your partner’s feelings and concerns, and validate their point of view by asking open-ended questions and listening actively. Also, express your feelings and needs calmly, focusing on the positive aspects of couples counseling and how it can benefit both of you.
Conclusion – Contact Us
Remember, talking to your partner about couples therapy is not a sign of weakness or failure but a sign of love and commitment. You are not alone in this journey. Many resources and professionals can help you along the way.
Consider contacting us at Aspire Counseling for a reliable black therapist in Huntsville al. With years of experience and training, you’re guaranteed to see results in your relationship after multiple sessions.
Contact us today!
