There are numerous experiences that I am constantly being exposed to. When it comes to the topic of “friends” of the opposite sex while in a relationship, this one can really be contentious. I recently came across a question that I just had to indulge. The question was “can a man be just friends with a woman while being in a relationship?” Instead of addressing only the man, what about a woman as well? Can a woman be just friends with a man while being in a relationship?” These are very interesting questions. They are questions that many couples have, and everybody has their own way of dealing with them, but let’s just get with the question.
Friends In A Relationship…Not a Complicated Subject
Can a woman be just friends with a man or vice versa? Can a man be just friends with a woman? I mean, to be honest with y’all, I don’t really even have to get deep into this one, to each his own. I don’t know what the song is, “I Got 99 Problems, But A Friend Ain’t One. I’ve been married, what, 15, 16 years now, we’ve been married for a long time, and I can truly say to you, this has never been a problem, not once, never been a problem in our marriage. But like I said each relationship partner, each couple has to choose what they want to do in their own situation.
Let’s Do A Relationship Scenario Check
I just come from the perspective of this. So let’s just do a little bit of scenario checking here. All right. So, let’s just say, for instance, you and your spouse, girlfriend or boyfriend, you all are having issues, and so the silent treatment is going on. Let’s just say the two of you all have a somewhat functional relationship or marriage, so when the silent treatment occurs, we are only talking about a few hours a day or so, or something like that.
Alright, so with this silent treatment going on, you are wanting to resolve the problem, but let’s just say in the scenario, she “ain’t” wanting to do that. She doesn’t want to talk. You want to try to get the situation resolved, but she flat out refuses to talk. It just so happens that during the silent treatment period, she happens to be perfectly okay with talking to her dude, her friend dude. This is just not a good scenario for me. Not a good scenario for me, maybe for you in your house. Not a good scenario for me.
Here’s the reason why. I’m wanting to talk to my wife. I’m wanting to talk to my woman. She’s giving me, her husband the silent treatment. While I am receiving the silent treatment she is chatting it up with this dude. This is the tough part of the scenario that has to be seriously considered. The dude, what if he is a little intimidating. What if he looks good? You know what I’m saying? What if it seems like he’s got game. Look here, this whole action that I am describing for my life is utterly and completely unnecessary for me. But that’s just me talking. Way too many dynamics.
What If The Man Wants A Female Friend While In a Relationship?
But let’s be fair. Let’s not leave the ladies out of this one. I’m sure there are a few ladies who are in relationships that can identify with a few of the potential conflicts as well. So let’s flip that thing for just one minute. Let’s flip the scenario here.
Our new situation now involves a man and his female friend. As with the first scenario, we are having the silent treatment thing going on. We are just doing a few hours or so of the silent treatment. And while the husband or boyfriend is not talking to you, guess who he’s talking to, his friend, boo. He’s talking to his friend, boo, he’s not talking to you. You are now see-through, he doesn’t notice you. While you are still concerned about the problem. You are in resolution mode, but he is not interested.
He’s not interested in you, but he does have an interest in conversation, and guess again who he has an interest in talking to. He’s chatting it up with his female friend. They’re just having a good time. They’re laughing, they are high-fiving on the phone. And here it is, you are wanting to resolve this relationship conflict with him, but he is relaxed, happy, and sitting there talking to his close female friend, not to mention that she’s fine, and you know it. She’s single, about a 9, well educated, no kids. She’s fine and you know it!
Choose Your Toxins, Choose Your Medicine
So what I’m saying folks is you can choose your toxins. You can choose your medicine. But as for me in my house, it’s not going down like that. I hope that answers your question about this concern.
Talk With One of Our All-Star Relationship Counselors/Coaches
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