Anger has been known to cause one to make a poor decision. It is because of anger that people have hurt people that are close to them. When one comes to the realization that they have an anger problem, they should ensure that they seek help. There are however ways in which one can manage anger on their own.
How To Manage Anger
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Choose your words
When one is angry, they mostly resort to abusive words. This may be in defense to intimidate the other party or to prove to others that they will not be taken advantage of or disrespected. If you have recognized that you have a problem with being verbally abusive when angry, you should consider backing away from the conversation, and maybe taking a few deep breaths before you continue to engage. Allow your anger to calm, and resist the urge to jump back into the conversation until you have properly settled your anger.
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Forgive
People tend to become more angry with people who they hold a grudge against. It is very important to forgive the wrongdoings that others have done. This is especially advisable when you notice that you have an anger problem. Forgiving others will ensure that you do not have any baggage that may trigger your anger.
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Avoid confrontations
One can also manage their anger by avoiding confrontations with others. If you feel yourself becoming angry, it is best to first cool down before talking or acting. This will ensure that you are able to show your anger in a more relaxed, non-aggressive way. Once you have calmed down, you will likely find it easier to express your emotions in a more collected manner. You will also enhance your ability to have mature and more meaningful conversations with those around you. A good conversation will help you improve your relationship with those you choose to spend your time with.
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Don’t blame others
Another way of anger management is making sure that you do not blame others. This can only be achieved if you are able to recognize and accept the mistakes that you have. Once you are able to realize that you also have mistakes and that you are not perfect, you will avoid getting angry when others falter. Placing blame on others may trigger a confrontation which may result in anger and potentially lead to regrettable actions.
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Ask for help
It really doesn’t hurt to ask. It often helps to consult with those whom we have found to be successful in our areas of weakness. Speak to someone close like a family member or friend who is willing to lend an ear. You can also ask for help from a mental health counselor or mental health professional. There are likely a number of mental health professionals in your area who specialize in anger management counseling. Asking for help is one way of acknowledging that you have a problem, and it provides a resource to help you to cope with your situation. Having a person who understands your situation can have great value and can serve as an intervention to help you avoid participating in actions that may damage your relationships.
Conclusion
Anger management is something we all should be mindful of in our relationships. Taking an interest in measures to prevent anger outburst should be something that we keep at top of mind no matter what stage we are in with our relationships. We don’t want anger to just sneak up, so to instead of pretending that it does not exist, talk about it. Avoid allowing anger to marinate. An honest conversation about anger in any relationship regardless of if you are the offended or the offender, will help to ease tensions before they build. It will also support you in making your relationships feel more safe and secured.
If you or your loved one have been experiencing anger management concerns and are interested in individual counseling, domestic violence/anger management classes or relationship counseling for couples, contact Aspire Counseling and we’ll talk about how our services might help!
Choya Wise, LICSW, PIP is the owner of Aspire Counseling and Consulting Services a mental health clinic in the Huntsville, Al area. As a licensed mental health professional Choya specializes in individual counseling, couples therapy, and depression counseling. He also offers Social Work Supervision in Alabama and Anger Management Classes.
